A few years ago I talked about the AVGN Movie, This was back when I was still learning, but I was more experienced by the time the first trailer came out, but I was still learning. So the AVGN Movie was out for a couple years now, I finally saw it, and yeah, I was unimpressed, underwhelmed, DUMBFOUNDED!!!! THis movie had 6 years to be worked on, and it looks, plays out, and sounds like crap. Just read my review.
DISCALIMER:
No matter what I think of this movie, I still respect James Rolfe as a person, a content maker, and a filmmaker, he just doesn't show it here.
STORY:
Basically A sequel to the ET Atari game, named Eee Tee 2, due to copyright reasons, is coming out. Everyone wants AVGN to do a review of ET, but he doesn't want to. Him and his crew including Cooper, and Mandi go to arizona to debunk the rumor of the ET Cartridges down in the Atari landfill, the military goes after them because they think their looking for aliens. They also have to stop C**kBurn from releasing Eee Tee 2 to the... pub... li...
I'm sorry, this movie's boring as hell, even when they do fight a giant monster, it isn't even fun to watch since it looked so cheap. When The Film isn't boring, it's offensive. with gross out jokes, and every other piece of dialogue being a curse word, an insult, or a bad name. Other than a few jokes you can count on one hand that's been through a wood chipper that I've laughed at (like one about Elvis, Tupac, and Michael Jackson being alive), I didn't laugh, I didn't even smile. AVGN worked because there was no real story, and when there was it was undone the next episode. oh don't let me get started on the self impressed nature of it all, Now that I think about it, an AVGN Movie doesn't sound like a good idea, 1) The Series itself doesn't have much of a story, 2) AVGN Isn't much of a character so much as a caricature, so it'll seem like a self indulgent ego stroking mess, besides it didn't work with the Channel Awesome crew, so what makes you think a paid VOD would work compared to a free videoset on TGWTG. It's especially made all the more pointless that while this movie was ready to come out there was amuch better film with a similar premise, and it did the whole ET 2600 story better, and it didn't have to be boring, offensive, unfunny, or wrongheaded...
CHARACTERS:
I already talked about how James Rolfe F**KED UP his own character, but how do the others fare? Not Much better. Cooper and Mandi are the token best friend and girl respectively. Just providing tools and help when needed that's their entire character. The villains are pretty stock with General Dark Onward being interesting for all the wrong reasons thanks to his body Parts keep coming off, because that's sure as hell funny... /s The cameos are just pure fanservice, You know how Stan Lee appears in Marvel Movies as a cameo? We get cameos from Black Nerd, Doug Walker, Kyle Justin, Mike Matei, etc. but here they aren't even fun to watch, they probably could've been replaced by extras, and it wouldn't have made a huge difference...
PRESENTATION:
The effects range from semi decent to OH GOD KILL IT!!!! Half the effects are cheap. I know that James Rolfe doesn't like using CG, But when you're on a tight budget, and you use 1080p Cameras, and you use those types off effects, it looks even more cheap, STAR WARS FROM ALMOST 40 YEARS AGO looks nicer to look at on modern screens. The Music's alright I guess, but everything else I haven't already discussed looks, sound, and plays out like GARBAGE!!!!! Oh if you're wondering about the ET Review, all I can say is... Yeah,,, Say what you will about Irate Gamer's ET Review, at least it showed the real game, and he didn't need an overhyped, rushed product to get to it, he did it a year or 2 in his shows existence, AVGN has been doing this Shtick since 2006 regularly, and it took him 8 years to get to it. I know, copyrights, but that's the biggest problem with it, it's pointless. I get that AVGN is a franchise, but Not every franchise needs a movie, and when they do, they expand the universe, tell a never before told story, or some other type of Movie Magic, This film has none of that, period...
OVERALL:
This movie is Trash, it can't even be fun as trash, I agree that it's bad, but It's too boring and uninteresting enough to be considered not that bad. Movies like Batman V. Superman, Fant4stic A, TMNT 2014, and Green Lantern may be objectively worse Genre Movies, but they were at least fascinating on how much they failed. This movie gets 1.5 Death Mwauthzyx's out of 4, and I just can't give this my Official A. Yoshi Seal of Crap, because I know that James could be a better filmmaker than this, he's shown this in his many short films, and some of his more cinematic AVGN episodes, That's what I learned today, hate the product, not the creator. I wanted a better film than this, but what did I really expect from an AVGN Movie Honestly? Seriously.
Best of luck to AVGN's future film making projects, whatever they might be, until then This is A. "Always Late to the Party" Yoshi signing off...
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