Gaming Bits: the winners and losers of E3 2016...

This Gaming Bits Segment is brought to you by the A. Yoshi Patreon...

So another E3 came and went, and it was... Interesting? I don't know, There was some good announcements, bad announcements, and there were were some major WTFs this year. Let's get to the meat and potatoes of E3 this year...

Gaming Bits: Conker: A Story of a Deconstruction of the Mascot Platformer

Before we begin, we are talking about Mature Rated games, while I'll be trying to keep this segment family friendly, reader discretion is still advised...

I don't know about you, But I love the 3D Platformer, It was the #1 genre of the N64, My favorite console of all time. It had games like Super Mario 64, Crash Bandicoot 1-3, Sonic Adventure 1 & 2, Spyro 1-3, Croc 1 & 2, Ape Escape Series, Banjo-Kazooie series, Jak and Daxter, Ratchet and Clank series, Sly Cooper Series, Donkey Kong 64, heck I have fond memories of That Toy Story 2 game that always was a tad bit hard at times for me (then again I was 6 at the time and the pinnacle of my gamer life was Kirby 64), I even have nostalgia for games you wouldn't exacly consider Traditional Platformers like the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater series (think about it for more than a rash reaction with Picard from Star Trek: Next generation facepalming with a cutesy poo "I'll just leave this here...") and Super Monkey Ball. But one game satnds out as one of the most interesting and one of my favorite Rareware games of all time, That was the deconstruction of the genre known as Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Gaming Bits: Banjo-Kazooie

KNOCK ON THE SCREEN, GIGGLE WITH GLEE... BAAAAAAAAAAANJO-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAZOOOOIE!!!!!!!!!!!! A 1, 2, 3, 4!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S A BEAR WHO WEARS A NECKLACE, SORT OF SWEET, SORT OF RECKLESS, WEARS A BAG AND DOESN'T HIDE IT, KEEPS A LITTLE BIRD INSIDE!!!!!!!!! BANJO-KAZOOIE, BANJO-KAZOOIE!!!!! HERE'S A WITH NAMED GRUNTILDA (STRONG RESEMBLENCE TO BROOM-HILDA), KIDNAPS BANJO'S SISTER TOOTY WITH A PLAN TO STEAL HER BEAUTY!!!!! I WANT TO PLAY BANJO-KAZOOIE!!!!!! THIS IS KAZOOIE, SHE CAN TALK IN BIRD WORDS, THIS LITTLE BACKPACK'S FILLED WITH HER BIRD TURDS!!!!!! BANJO-KAZOOIE, BANJO, BANJO, BANJO AND KAZOOIE!!!!!!! THIS GUY'S MUMBO (HE CAN MAKE YOU BIG OR LITTLE), FROM WHAT I HEAR, HE PLAYS A XYLOPHONE AND FIDDLE!!!! PLAY THAT FIDDLE, PLAY THAT FIDDLE, I COULD GO FOR A MCGRIDDLE!!!!!! HERE WE'VE GOT A BIRD WITH SMALL BUT SMART EGGS, KIND OF FUNNY HOW SHE BOTH COUGHS AND FARTS EGGS (BOTH OF HER HOLES HAVE EGGS THAT CAN'T BE HEALTHY)!!!!! PLAY THAT F***ING FIDDLE MUMBO, PLAY THAT F***ING FIDDLE MUMBO!!!!!!!!!! BANJO-KAZOOIE, BANJO-KAZOOIE!!!!! PLAY THAT F***ING FIDDLE MUMBO, PLAY THAT F***ING FIDDLE MUMBO!!!!!!!!!! I WANT TO PLAY BANJO-KAZOOIE!!!!!! FIGHT WITH CARROT, KICK IT WITH A TURTLE CHOIR, BANJO'S A BEAR WITH QUESTIONABLE DAY ATTIRE, IS SHE A PARROT (MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE)!!!!!!!! BANJO-KAZOOIE!!!!!!!!! OOH-DELLALLY!!!!! BANJO-KAZOOIE, WHAT A @#!$ING GAME!!!!!!!!!

Gaming Bits: E3 2015 Special

Well, here it is, the gaming event to end all gaming events. A place where big boobies and even bigger games meet. A place where you could see all the big games before they even get released. Trailers, Gameplay, Celebrities, Booth Babes in Square Enix Crop Tops, and I wasn't there, I'm broke, and not a big name internet personality. I tried as much as I could to follow the big news, but, I got some of it better than others, So in this VERY SPECIAL Gaming Bits Segment, We tackle E3, What I liked, and what I didn't like...

Nintendo Double Diamond Anniversary Retrospective Part 6: The Dark Age (Again, and 56k Warning)

Before we begin, let's talk about some Nintendo News that happened lately...


First off, Nintnedo's Creator Program or whatever it is is essentially a joke... Basically put, if you still want to make a living off of Nintendo games, you either A) have to give 30% of your paycheck to the big N, only produce videos on games on the list (and no, that doesn't include Pokemon, Smash, or others...), and not include other copyrighted clips, or B) Put some of your videos on review (which could take a damn long time because Nintendo), give 40% of your money to your employer, and it's the same basic details. If other companies follow suit, it'll lead to a snowball effect leading to creator programs that screw over their employers and we'll probably have a de facto SOPA for online videos unless you get permission from your employer, and lets plays and reviews will never be the same again.

On a more positive note, we'll be getting a live action Netflix Exclusive Zelda series, which'll be a more family friendly Game of Thrones. I'm really cautious, I'd like to see how this turns out. That's all i got considering they just announced this at the time of me writing this.


Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

So... Regarding E3...

OK, this is going to be short quick and to the point, unlike previous years of my E3 blogs. Honestly this year might have a blog drought throughout these next few months, and another thing I have to address is that the story line might go at a slower than usual pace. Another thing I wanted to address is that it's Honestly it's been about a year since the last Ohranger VS B-Fighter chapter, but that's going to be put on indefinite hold due to lack of inspiration, come to think of it, a lot of my epic projects never reached completion one way or another, but let's talk about E3 whole it's still relevant...

Heroes of the Next Console War

So the new Syfy (AKA Wrestling Channel) reality series Heroes of Cosplay came and went, and already it's instated controversy, split opinions, and just plain bogusery. You know what else is in the news? GTA 5 (which I don't care for). You know what else else people are talking about in nerd culture? The next console war. Since both topics are too big for a R.Cubed, I'm going to do another two for one blog. So Let's get into action, shall we?

ERMAHGERD, E3 Super Blog!!!!

E3 is about to come to a close, and Yoshiette says she'll be home soon. In the mean time I invented another Yoshiette named Yoshiette 2, With a her hair color like the Vocaloid Megurine Luka, and her outfit like Luigi. Hopefully, she won't be as Crazy as my other Yoshiette who will be renamed Yoshiette 1. What did I think of E3 this year, Find out today. Did Microsoft Finally redeem themselves? Has Sony continued their Playstation Legacy with quality? Can Nintendo return from that rut they've been in as far as consoles for the past year and a half?

E3 is nigh... and so is the fate of the Games industry as we know it.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE ADVENTURES OF ANONYMOUS YOSHI...

You know this relationship reminds me of a young kid who's name was ***** who had a...

Ehhhhh..... Nobody cares.

Anonymous Yoshi: You could win a trip to Los Angeles for E3. YESSSS!!!!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!!

Yoshiette: Read the Back of the bag!!!!

AY: Nutritional Facts...

YE: NOT THERE, THE BOTTOM RIGHT!!!!!

AY: No purchase necessary, sweepstakes ends May 10 2013.

YE: THE CONTEST IS EXPIRED!!!!

AY: Can you do this week's blog, I'm exhausted from the Dairanger review.

YE: NO, YOU DO IT, I'M GOING TO LA TO GO TO E3!!!!! DID I ALSO MENTION I'M GOING TO BE ROCKING OUT MY YOKO LITTNER STYLE BIKINI?!

AY: ERMAHGERD, CAN I COME WITH YOU?!

YE: Sorry, There wasn't enough money in my savings account for three badges.

AY: Who's the second badge for?

YE: PK Chu.

AY: Can I take his badge? Do you hate me? Can I party with you in your Yoko Bikini? Can I...

YE: YOSHI, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO!!!!

Power Riding into Video Gaming's Future

So, where did I go? Short version is I was Life, that is all. Longer version is I was in a depression (which I might still be in around the time I write this, but not as bad as the end of last month) that I don't really want to get in to to much detail (except it involves people I really love and respect, and them getting mad at me) and I went Silent until I could find a solution. This is the main reason I couldn't make the April Fool's joke I wanted to make. What am I going to talk about this time? 2 topics. 1) the rumored Power Rider Apollo, and 2) Is the Game industry (namely Nintendo) doomed? Without further ado, Let's do it, shall we?

Halo: Sellout Evolved

Oh god...

Do I really have to talk about Halo?  A little more than a decade ago, Halo was the biggest talk about games, probably the biggest gaming phenomenon since Pokemon. Doesn't that seem like forever ago, instead of just 11 years ago? Now Halo represents everything I hate about modern gaming, The commercialization of games, and society in general.