Halo: Sellout Evolved

Oh god...

Do I really have to talk about Halo?  A little more than a decade ago, Halo was the biggest talk about games, probably the biggest gaming phenomenon since Pokemon. Doesn't that seem like forever ago, instead of just 11 years ago? Now Halo represents everything I hate about modern gaming, The commercialization of games, and society in general.





Before we get into how much of a sellout Halo has become, let's compare it to Mario, Mario looks like and sounds like a video game (Colorful, diverse, and fantasy like), Merchandise is common but not really insane, and it didn't turn 12 year old kids into spoiled, trollish monsters. I pray that we never see Super Mario Bros.: Nintendo Warfare.


There are 3 main points I want to bring up, This will cause FANBOY RAGE, FLAME WARS, AND INSANE LUNATICS COMING TO MY DOOR STEP!!!!!!!!!!! I warned you, So let's get to the blog...


POINT 1: HALO IS MODERN GAMING DEVIL INCARNATE:


As I said, Halo represents EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT MODERN GAMING along with Activision's Call of Duty and EA's Infamous Same Game You Bought Last Year, Only With A Roster Update, Which Anyone With A Brain and Internet Connection Can Get As DLC (or SGYBLYOWARUWAWABAICCGADLC) series. Master Chief looks Like a ******* Steroid Induced Power Ranger, And he Never Takes of his Dod Derned Mask. For all we could know, He could be a unshaven White Guy, just like every other video game character that's not a Steroid Induced Power Ranger. Yep, Halo is Tasteless, Old after while, and Helped set the MY FPS RAGE OF THE MID TO LATE 2000's. That's not even going into starting the fight again with Halo 4. Sure Reach was excessive, but this is overdoing it. Whats next, A Modern Warfare 4, A New Gears of War.... Oh wait. Granted, games like Bioshock and Skyrim both deserve a fair amount of criticism too, but they're at least not sellouts.




POINT 2: HALO HAS TOO MUCH ******* MERCHANDISE:


Most Sucessful games have their own share of merchandise. Look at Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, Sonic, Street Fighter, Megaman, Metal Gear, ******* DDR, Then there's Halo. HALO HAS MEGA BLOKS SETS, ACTION FIGURES, TSHIRTS, BOOKS, A POSSIBLE MOVIE, ANIME, MOUNTAIN DEW, NIKES, MODEL KITS, BOWLING BALLS, CEREAL, THEME PARKS....


WAAA WAA OH WAAA WAA WAA.


What, Am I Making those Last Few up?


WAAA WAA WAA WAA.

I'm Exaggerating it?


WAA WAA WAA WA WAA


Now I'm Making it worse by saying everything you say out loud?


Please excuse that comedy bit, but in all seriousness, Halo has too much ******* MERCHANDISE!!!!! Say what you will about Pokemon, At Least they knew when to slow down.



POINT 3: HALO'S FANBOYS ARE JERKS!!!!!


All Fanboys are jerks, But Halo's fans are some of the worst, They Constantly Troll People on XBOX Live, Get into arguments wit non fans, and are super arrogant. They like to teabag people, screen look, and don't give a crap about the fact. They think Steroid Induced Power Ranger's are HARDCORE, While Plumbers ridding Dinosaurs are not. Brown and Green are HARDCORE, The primary colors are not. Huge and complicated button layouts are HARDCORE, Simple ones are not. See what I'm getting at, See why I hate People. And the worst part about it is that they're under 13 or over 30.




CONCLUSION:


Halo is now a huge sellout and I don't give a crap anymore.