Anonymous Yoshi's (COMPLETELY CLEAN) Garo: Red Requiem review.

THIS BLOG COMBINES NEWS, OPINION, AND CRITICISM WITH COMEDY AND SATIRICAL NARRATIVE. SO A GOOD PORTION OF THIS BLOG IS FICTIONAL,  AND HIT CTRL F AND TYPE GARO IF YOU WANT THE ACTUAL REVIEW.

LAST TIME...

Yoshiette 2: HEY LOOK!!!!!!!!! It's Takamaru from Nazo no Whazthegamesname.

Cucco Girl: Did you hear? Marth was killed in action by Ike!!!!!!!! "More on the story as it develops." Says the Simcity Inquirer.

Anonymous Yoshi: What's happening? the tape is inside the tape is popping out.

YE2: I'm getting wrapped in it!!!!! HELP!!!!!

YE2: GREAT, NOW THE BLOG'S DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!

Cucco Girl: No, But look, It's Kameo from Kameo: Elements of Power.

All 5: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Sims. I don't know who he is, but I think... WE'RE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THE SNOW CHANNEL'S BACK!!!!!!!! RUNS!!!!!

They successfully Got away!!!!!

YE2: Well here it is...

AY: What is it?

YE2: The KFC in the woods where we'll find the Wizard of Sims.

Koopy Troopy: Well This is a scam, It's just an abandoned KFC!!!!!

PK Chu: LOOK IN THE DOD DERNED KITCHEN!!!!!

Yoshiette 1: Wanna play 3rd Degree Burn Blackjack? If you lose a round, you have to put your hand in the fryer for 15 seconds while your covered in grease the whole game. Last player to survive wins.

AY: ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME "HONEY"?!?! THAT'S DANGEROUS!!!!!! YOU SAY I SHOULDN'T GO TO THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!!! YOU'RE DEFINITELY COMING WITH ME TO THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE!!!!!! Also, Is that Marth playing? I thought he was dead?

YE1: Nah, he just lost his flyer to Ike. Also I invited Meta Knight, Waluigi, and Daisy to the Smash Bro. They're kind of Idiots. But yeah I told everyone Marth is dead!!!!

Police: HA, A CONFESSION!!!!! I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR GREEN HAIR, BECAUSE IT'LL MATCH YOUR PRISON ORANGE OUTFIT!!!!!

AY: Yoshiette 2, Just load the blog before the snow channel appears again!!!!!

YE2: OKAY!!!!

OH BOY!!!! I GET TO DO AN IN-DEPTH REVIEW OF THE GARO MOVIE!!!!!!

One Viewing Later...

OK, Disclaimer Time. First off, one of the benefits of my Toku Reviews is that I can be as in-depth as I possibly can, and I can just gloss over the really adult parts, but this movie's so R-Rated, so Adult that I can't give it the analysis it deserves, so don't expect anything epic right here. But anyway onto the introduction. Blah Blah Blah... GARO's popularity, Blah Blah Blah... Spawned a movie, Blah Blah Blah... The other movies aren't that good, Blah Blah Blah... Is this any good, Blah Blah Blah... Find out today, you know this stuff already.


STORY:

Since this can't be in-depth without violating FCC regulations, I'm going to give you the basic idea what happened. Basically Kouga goes to a city to hunt down the Horror Karma. Her current Headquarters is in a gothic nightclub. Through out the movie, Kouga bonds with Rekka, a Makai priest, which is a better relationship than with that stupid kid from Beast of the White Night. After Kouga and Rekka find Karma, she moves her HQ to a building. After Sealing the Building away from the Horrors, they go to Karma's dimension, and I'll stop myself here. But even then My biggest problem with the story is that there's no there in there. I'll get more into this later, but it doesn't have an interesting villain, interesting effects, or interesting characters, all it has to distinguish itself is superficially mature content. It's a pretty good story but that's all there is to it.


CHARACTERS:

The two Big Characters that are introduced here... Rekka and Karma. They're both not that interesting, The problem with new characters in movies that are spinoffs of currently running TV shows is that they aren't that interesting since those types of movies are essentially extended episodes from said shows (case in point, Dragon Ball Z, Pokemon, Star Trek, Power Rangers, etc.), this is no exception. Rekka is a Sexy Makai Priest who wanted to be a Makai Knight, but since she was, of course, female, she couldn't (HOW SEXIST ARE THESE PEOPLE).  Karma is a horror who Kidnaps people so that they can make their true dreams come true, in return to turning them into Horrors. So yeah, that's it.


PRESENTATION:

The music is epic, as always, but The effects look so much more obvious this time around. The fight scenes animate like claymation while looking like a low end cutscene. I normally don't have a problem with mature content in media, if i's a secondary thing, but since the producers were like "Hey we can make a feature film based on this so let's make this 3-D, also more importantly We can put more Gore and Boobs in this film!!!" It doesn't really add much to the film. Still I like GARO's new super mode, if you watch the movie, then you'll know.


OVERALL:

This movie's decent, and that's all I can say about this film  It's unfortunately nothing you're going to be remembering a few hours after you see it. I give this 2.75 Karma mirrors out of 4.


END

AY: Well That does it for all of October's blogs, now let's go to the Halloween party before the... What's this?

YE2: What?

AY: Ness & Lucas signed a peace treaty? WHAT THE... Snow Channel's back.

YE2: Quickly, fire your Papers!!!!!

*Fires Flyers*

Slender Yoshiette Is revealed to be Prototype Yoshiette.

Prototype Yoshitte: Activating... ViolentlyKill.EXE.

Koopy: If we're real quiet, we can sneak through the back window.

They escaped the KFC safely.

AY: What's this?

Anonymous Yoshi added a flamethrower to his inventory!

PYE: Come... Come To... Me. Let Me... Eat you... Like the... Little... Morsel... You are!!!!!

Anonymous Yoshi used Flamethrower.

ONE HIT KO!!!!!

WHAT THE... It's still alive?

Yoshiette 2 used chainsaw!!!!

It did 512 damage.

Prototype Yoshiette uses stink breath

PYE: Ya know, this game... stinks!!!!!

Everyone in the party took 999 damage!!!!!

Cucco Girl and Koopy Troopy used Koopa Shell Bowling!!!!

It Missed!!!!!

Anonymous Yoshi used Rocket launcher!!!!

It's super effective, It did 789 damage.

Prototype Yoshiette is down for the count.

Slender Yoshiette used bite on Yoshiette 2!!!!

She took 555 damage!!!!

Yoshiette 2 used Megaton Hammer!!!!

Prototype Yoshiette is now dead.

PYE: Windows Genuine Advantage... detected... Your copy of... of... of... windows is not... not... not... genuine, You... You... You... must activate... Your Copy... of.... WIIIIINDOWWWS? *Shuts down*

YE2: Now what?

AY: Want to go to the Halloween Party?

Later at the Halloween Party...

YE2: What are you supposed to be?

Link: Hiy!!!!

YE2: I Forgot, You don't talk in english.

Zelda: He's supposed to be Arashi, From Henshin Ninja Arashi.

YE2: You're Luka From Gokaiger, Aren't you?

Zelda: Yep.

YE2: I remember a Awesome Cosplay from Anime Expo, I for got who it was. Research Data Banks...



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SIGNAL LOST!!!!!!