LAST TIME...
Anonymous Yoshi & Koopy Troopy: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Sims. I don't know who he is, but I think he eats Chicken Limbs.
Koopy Troopy: What was the point of that joke again?
AY: I also brought a tin woman...
Yoshiette 2: It's OK, I brought tools we could use to post blogs in the woods.
I brought with me PK Chu as our Toto, and the Cucco Girl as our Dorthy. So Let's sing together.
All 5: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Sims. I don't know who he is, but I think he eats Chicken Limbs.
Lucas from Mother 3: HEY BITCH, THIS IS LUCAS, I CALLED TO TELL YOU ME AND MY HOMIES WANT TO BE EARTHBOUND'S REPRESENTATIVE ON THE SMASH BRO!!!!!!!
YE2: SORRY DUDE, IT'S FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!!!! BUT IF YOU CAN DEFEAT NESS IN A PSYCHIC BATTLE, I'LL RECONSIDER IT!!!!!
YE2: BLIZZARD ATTACK!!!!
Marth: Arigato Yoshi-Sama, Watashi sore ni tsuite kangaete mimasu.
YE2: First off, no, Second off, It's a guy, and third off, My Vision's turning into the snow channel!!!!
Koopy: I've been meaning to ask you this since the day we met, Does N64 Man exist?
AY: I Don't Know.
YE2: HEY LOOK!!!!!!!!! It's Takamaru from Nazo no Whazthegamesname.
AY: Here's your flyer, don't ask why, just go.
Cucco Girl: Did you hear? Marth was killed in action by Ike!!!!!!!! "More on the story as it develops." Says the Simcity Inquirer.
Koopy: What a time to be alive, Dontcha think PK Chu?
YE2: While people are discussing crap, I'll prepare this week's blog.
Hard Drive still Defragging. Let's just put in a blog tape
So to promote the then upcoming GARO: Makai Senki (which I might not be able to review (more on that later this month), The Tohokushinsha Film Corporation (try saying that out loud) released a V-Cinema entitled Kiba Gaiden, Which was the backstory to the original GARO series Big Bad, Barago. He's one of the most frightening villains in Tokusatsu. But is this movie just as strong? Find out today.
STORY:
SPOILERS AHOY!!!! ALSO THIS MAY BE A LITTLE MATURE FOR YOUNG KIDS!!!!
So the movie begins with a "Dark" version of the GARO intro. It honestly feels like a Batman intro with it's music. Then artwork appears of a monster killing a woman and a wolf night stopping it. Then Erda from the original series lights a few candles. Barago is talking to Kaoru, and begins the his beginnings on how he met Kaoru. He goes on about how he had a future of light rather than dark. Barago's mom was sick, and then Barago trained with his dad. Barago's mom became possessed by a horror, so her husband killed her. Barago went on his own when his dad also got killed. Barago found the forbidden Black Madou Book. He then met Messiah and became Kiba. He started devouring horrors. You know the fights aren't as good as the show, they just seem a lot slower, boring, and fake, more on that later. Barago goes on stroking his own ego for a few moments on how he's going to kill Kouga. He then meets Western Knight Bado, and yet another boring fight emerges. I'm starting to fall asleep. Bado returns for round 2, and loses. Erda tells her origin in perfect English. Also this talks about Ganon (SINCE WHEN DID THIS BECOME THE LEGEND OF ZELDA?), Her love, Shinji's death, and how she met Barago. Messiah assumes the form of GARO and enter the best fight in the movie, to bad it's ruined by ink strokes that totally overshadows the fight. GARO and Kiba ride horses throughout a destroyed city in the sky and still fight. This is the best part of the movie. An angel of Barago's mother fights her son. This is another good fight scene, but I wish the other fight scenes were as good. Anyway he kills his Mother, henshins, and rides into the sky ending the movie.
Wow, just wow, that was a boring movie, though the third act was pretty good, but the scenes before that put me to sleep.
CHARACTERS:
This is a backstory of the villains so I'll talk about both the villains in this section.
Kiba has an interesting Batman like story, with his Parents dying and all, and he does kind of look like Batman or Black Lion Rio from Gekiranger. But his story is poorly executed, this could have been interesting. But they wasted it.
Erda Is kind of a similar deal, Interesting backstory, poorly executed. I don't have much to say beyond that.
The biggest problem with the backstories are that they're boring. Really, really boring and slow paced. But I suppose GARO is more of a soap opera tokusatsu than anything. But still, if it were any longer I'd be falling asleep.
PRESENTATION:
This is probably the best part of the movie, but that's not saying much. The settings are so fake it looks like it belongs in a video game, and it doesn't clash well with the live actors in it. This doesn't show the McFarlane worthy designs that well outside of the few Makai Knights they show in detail in this movie. A lot of The fight scenes are a lot throttled down from the other GARO media. Still Kiba Riding his horse is as cool has hell, look...
Seriously why wasn't this in the Series.
OVERALL:
This movie SUCKS!!!! It's boring, poorly executed, and not worth it. Yet the third act was Really good, but that's not enough to avoid this film from getting a 1.75 Kiba Horses out of 4.
See you next...
AY: What's happening? the tape is inside the tape is popping out.
YE2: I'm getting wrapped in it!!!!! HELP!!!!!
AY: POP THE CASSETTE OUT!!!! HURRY!!!!!
*Pops the VHS out*
AY: Now let's get Yoshiette out of this mess.
*Cuts the tape*
YE2: GREAT, NOW THE BLOG'S DESTROYED!!!!!!!!!!
PK Chu: Any development on the Marth Story?
Cucco Girl: No, But look, It's Kameo from Kameo: Elements of Power.
PK Chu: Wasn't that a Microsoft Property?
Koopy: No, Rare was never sold to Microsoft, What are you thinking now!!!!!!
AY: I gave her a flyer, Hopefully she signs up.
All 5: We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Sims. I don't know who he is, but I think... WE'RE GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THE SNOW CHANNEL'S BACK!!!!!!!! RUNS!!!!!
They successfully Got away!!!!!
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!
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