Saturday, March 26, 2016

Random Post: He Talks, He Emails, he does other s**t you don't care about... It's BonziBuddy (aka the program that destroyed my computer in the mid 2000s)


Do you have nostalgia for something you absolutely hate for one reason or another? For me, nothing can match the Loathe I have for BonziBuddy. I destroyed my computer with this in 2004 (I Think?), not knowing it was spyware. His pitch was that he could Talk, Email, Browse, Laugh, Tell Facts, Schedule, Download (probably porn, toolbars, and other Nasty S#!t), Sing, and Search, but let's get revenge for him destroying my computer all those years ago...

Long ago in 1999, Bonzi started out from young upstart, He was marketed to kids who used AOL. He looked a lot like Microsoft Office's Peedy the Parrot at first, mainly due to the fact that he used Microsoft Agent technology, but he was changed to the infamous Purple Gorilla we all know today (possibly due to legal reasons). He had a text to speech communication with the user. You could call yourself CurlyS**tC**k F**kBeerLicker and He'd call you by that name. You  then could register, which has one interesting note, you could enter your age as 2-4 years old. Yeah, this was somehow acceptable in the early 2000s.

With BonziBuddy, You could listen to Bonzi sing little kid songs like "Happy Birthday to You", listen as he tells you facts like how many forks, spoons, and knives there are in the white house, tells stupid jokes, and schedule events which there were better programs out there even in 2001 when the software was at it's peak. In certain versions you got BonziWorld, a hub area for all things Bonzi, "Bonzi, because infecting your computer with ads is fun..." He was web assistant for kids and old people who didn't know better. He unfortunately spied on you a lot, and could read your searching habits for Yaoi Beastiallity fics. Also he screwed with your browser a lot. Oh and he was unstable as balls, case in point, right clicking sometimes crashes, and he'd turn into a paintbrush for your desktop

In 2002, a class action lawsuit was made because of this. It was settled in 2003 by changing the alerts, but the FTC actually fined Bonzi because of the violations of the Children;s Online Privacy Protection Act, finally putting BonziBuddy and his butt buddy MaxAlert (who could check on stock and hacker alerts). Not too long ago the software was revived by devoted fans (look it up and download at your own risk), and around the same time he became a running meme in the Youtube community. Yeah, don't make us relive those dark days of AOL and getting spyware through NeoPets advertising. Somethings are better off in computer application hell along with Clippy, and Internet Explorer...

The end, now time to get my revenge (Graphic Image Ahead)...

A. Yoshi's Carranger Review, a goofy sentai series, reviewed. Racing to the finish April 1st, only on GO, GO!!!!!! CARRANGER, CARRANGER!!!!!

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