Come on, make me a sandwich, Do the Harlem Shake, Do anything other than just stand there. Hell, the ice sculptures in Harry Potter do more than just stand there. Fine, I'm just going to chuck you off Death Mountain Trail.
*one toss later*
Yoshiette 1: YOSHI, YOU IDIOT!!!!! I'm now in pieces.
???: SimCity Crime Stoppers, this is Jeff, how can I help you?
AY: This is A. Yoshi. I need help putting together Yoshiette Model XX-071 AKA Yoshiette 1. Can you give me instructions?
Jeff: I've got a better idea, how 'bout I don't?
AY: What?
Jeff: Trying to cover up a murder I see? I bet you're friends with that guy who tried to tap the internet of every place in the country?
*hangs up*
AY: Well I guess this is the end, I lost trust with the TGWTG cand Screwattack communities, and now I lost the trust of Videoland. No more getting ladies in my bed. No more Mountain Dew and french fries. No more Twitter. No More Moviebob. No more Toku, Video Games, Anime, and Manga. NO MORE ANYTHING!!!!!
Both: WE'RE BOTH FELONS!!!!!!!!!!
YE1: You can at least write one last blog.
So the Kamen Rider 555 ending wasn't anything special, but I did this better as a rider series than Kabuto, so the movie Paradise Lost is like a dystopian film version of the ending to 555, but is it a good ending to the series? Find out today on today on ANONYMOUS YOSHI REVIEWS!!!!!!
STORY:
So the film begins with the Toei Logo (WAVES AND ROCKS!!!!!!!!), but it really begins with business men going into Smart Brain HQ. They change into army outfits. These are humans going against the increasing Orphnoch population. A couple of them get killed by the Orphnochs. Smart Lady comes in and brings more Orphnochs. The humans are still fighting when a familiar bike arrives and it's Kamen Rider Kaixa. He fends off the orphnochs long enough for one of the humans to escape. We learn that Smart Brain has pretty much taken over the world and the Logo appears. We cut to the humans where they're deciding what they should do next. Kamen Rider Faiz is facing off against a lot of Riotroopers, and get's kidnapped in a flashback. Over at a marketplace, 3 renegade orphnochs get rejected from doing business with a seller for being orphnochs. They talk a lot about Takumi throughout the early parts the film since he was kidnapped and presumed killed. The renegades meet the head of the president of Smart Brain. He sends out the english speaking Leo who turns into...
KAMEN RIDER PSYGA!!!!!
He destroys the Orphnoch which tried to destroy the renegades. Back with the humans, they discuss orphnochs and humans coexisting when Riotroopers attack. The renegades and humans do battle with them, but it's clear that they're too strong. To amke Matters worse Psyga comes. Kaixa and Psyga battle. Kaixa transforms his bike and Psyga uses his jetpack. Psyga wins, and kills him unhenshined. Leo Henshins to do battle with the renegades. A scientist gives Keitaro a serum that'll allow him to henshin, but only once. Takumi and Mari dance like the good old days in the night. Riotroopers come in and Takumi henshins.
SPEED UP!!!!!
He Destroys the Riotroopers, and comes back to camp. Takumi Rides off into the night and bumps into Mina. Mizuhara takes the Faiz gear and tries to henshin, but can't. Horse Orphnoch kills him. Kiba is being a jerk to Takumi. The renegades head to Smart Brain HQ to steal the emperor belts. They have to do battle with this thing:
They change into their orphnoch forms and fight. The big Monster kills the Crane Orphnoch/Yuka. He later also kills Snake Orphnoch/Kaidou. Kiba goes crazy, then Psyga attacks the camp again. Keitaro Changes into Kamen Rider Kaixa and destroys an orphnoch. Kaixa dehenshins and almost dies. Meanwhile Psyga takes Mari and Takumi goes to save her. Ar the Stadium, Mari is about to get eatn by the Rhino thing from earlier. Takumi arrives and henshins. The monster destroys his bike. Psyga appears to do battle with Faiz. Faiz runs like the Flash towards Psyga, and they continue to battle while the monster tries to eat Mari. Faiz destroys Psyga with his sword. Kamen Rider Orga gets ready to make his appearance and it's Yuuji Kiba. The two riders fight, and when Orga gets ready to kill Takumi, Takumi turns into the Wolf Orphnoch, While Kiba turns into the Horse Orphnoch. They Fight again, while Mari gets locked up. Faiz gets back his Faiz Blaster, and turns into...
YOU'VE SEEN IT HERE FIRST!!!! THE FAIZ BLASTER, AND FAIZ BLASTER FORM IS NOW AVAILABLE AT TOYS "R" US STORES ALL OVER JAPAN!!!!! BUY IT NOW, CONVINCE YOUR PARENTS TO BUY IT FOR YOU!!! IF THEY SAY NO, KEEP ASKING UNTIL THEY GET IT FOR YOU!!!! BUY ALL OF OTHER CRAP TOO!!!!!!
All kidding aside, we all know how badass the Blaster form is. Both riders finishing attacks collide, but Faiz's Finisher prevails. Faiz fires a good blast to the monster destroying it, but Kiba is dying and he dies. The Head of the President of Smart Brain gets smashed by Smart Lady, Takumi and Mari head out side into a new tomorrow, and end credits roll with a new version of the 555 theme, ending the movie.
The movies pretty good, with 2 new riders (which I'll discuss next), and a better ending to the series than the TV series. There's much Better Kamen Rider material, but I really like this.
CHARACTERS:
Leo/Kamen Rider Psyga is an interesting rider concept, an Anglish speaking rider with a jetpack that has guns, and armed with tonfa, but he's given so few lines, and isn't that interesting of a character otherwise that he's just essentially another monster of the day.
Yuuji Kiba/Kamen Rider Orga/Horse Orphnoch which I didn't discuss in my first 555 review, is the rival to Takumi, He's willing to do anything to get Mari like Takumi is, he also is willing to help humans despite his orphnoch side. His Ride form has BIG ASS SWORD, But sadly it doesn't get that much screentime, It was potentially interesting as well.
PRESENTATION:
This feels bigger and better than the Kamen Rider 555 series, with bigger monsters, cool riders, and feels like an alternate finale to 555. I kind of like this movie better than Kabuto: God Speed Love, but it still feels kind of lacking. Still this is a pretty good movie on a technical standpoint.
OVERALL:
Short Version: it's good. Long Version: it's good, It's not great. It is a better ending to the series than the TV Series, but other than that, it's not quite as memorable as the TV Series. I give this 3.25 Emperor Belts out of 4.
Now back to the........
OVERWRITING SIGNAL!!!!!!
Nega Yoshi 2: LEGION OF YOSHI HATERS!!!!!! Proto Yoshiette!!!!!!!!
Proto Yoshiette: He... he... here.
NY2: Modertor Bot!
Moderator Bot: Here... but can I count as neutral?
NY2: Step 1: Frame A. Yoshi and get all his buds to turn his back on him. Check. Step 2: Crush M*******'s Heart with the same tactics that Yoshi Used back in [Redacted]!!!!! To San Antonio, AWAY!!!!!!
ModBot: Can this car go any faster?
NY2: Sorry, but this car can only go 12 miles per hour
ModBot: FU...
SIGNAL LOST!!!!!!
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