Saturday, July 20, 2013

WAKE UP!!!! THE HERO!!!!!! Kamen Rider ZO review



PK Chu: Well, I'm headin' to SDCC, You be a good boy.

Anonymous Yoshi: But you got tickets for two...

PKC: The other ticket's for my motorbike. YO SIMCITY, SMELL YA LATER!!!!! I'M OFF TO SAN DIEGO COMIC-CON BITCHES!!!!!

AY: What Pikachu has a Motorcycle?

Down in hell...

???: I Froze over hell and soon to take over the earth with an Ice Cold temperature... FOR I AM THE ANCIENT SORCERER FREEZIO!!!!

But first what form should I take?

Servant: Why not take the form of an all Blue Mario?


In the Middle of SimCity, a giant Icicle landed on the SimCity Financial Building, destroying it.

Freezio: From the Highest heights of the heavens bring me the ice pillars!!!!!

Computer: Danger Yoshi Danger!!!!!


Computer: A TARDIS is landing and is about crash into the dump you live in.

AY: I Wonder what's in that TARDIS?

Oh look it's 2 icons from the N64 era created by England based company Rare!!!! Banjo the bear, Kazooie the bird, and Conker the Squirrel.

Conker: What do you want, BOY!?

AY: To investigate that ice tower in the middle of the city with me. I sent a TARDIS to members of the good Rareware from 2001 to tell Nintendo to buy them back from Micro$oft.

Banjo: So you brought us from England 2001 just to make a Doctor Who reference. We're out of here, but you can take Kazooie with you.

God, What a bugger.

Conker: Do you know of any places to get some good eats in the area?

*With Apologies to British people everywhere.*

Anonymous Yoshi added Kazooie to his inventory.

Brrrrr...... Why Is it so Cold in the town square?

Kazooie: I don't Know, but there's a lot of Jynx, and Piloswine in the area.

It's starting to snow.


AY: Hello. I just found Banjo, Kazoo...

Yoshiette 1: Yeah that's nice but as far as you facing The ice tower, Yeah, you're on your own, Also, Time to blog.

So, We've done it, The last film of the 1993 Toei Super Hero Fair is about to get Reviewed, With the Higest production values of the 3 films, A more mature and darker story, and a revival of one of the most beloved franchises that hasn't been heard of for the past four years up to that point, I'm off course talking about everyone's favorite fighting Grasshopper man fighting mutants, Kamen Rider, How does Kamen Rider ZO (pronounced Zett-Oh) hold up?


So the film Begins with the Toei logo (WAVES AND ROCKS!!!!), and then the Bandai Logo (Since they helped make the film). The actual film begins with a man waking up in a forest. He remembers who he is, then turns into Kamen Rider ZO, and the title appears. In a junkyard  a ball of metal appears and turns pieces of metal into his body.

This is Doras The main monster of the film. He walks through the area, and blasts a laser to destroy a power line. We see our main hero driving a motorcycle to go to find Professor Mochizuki, he finds a friend the professor outside a house and we cut to a...

OH GOD IT'S A KID!!!!! 3 OF THEM!!!!! But it's not like they'll overshadow the main hero. The ball sees one of the kids then chases him, when Doras finds him. The monster destroys the city and the kid looks terrified. Doras Turns into a ball, and a... a... something, to catch the kid. When a mystery motorcycle man comes and cuts the monsters arm off. It's ZO. The monster scans the rider, and gains a robotic arm. Doras and ZO fight. The monster tries to gain another leg, but fails. He get's pushed into a spike with a motorcycle. after a scene with the kid and professor, the professor finds a grasshopper. Hiroshi (the Kid), Wants his father to come back (Yeah, I've got a bad feeling about this). Doras creates a spider and bat, then rises. The kid tells his sister that the main hero is chasing after him. The bat from earlier appears, and turns into a monster.

Hiroshi and his sister run into a spider and get put into another dimension. A Spider monster appears in the dimension that the kid and his sister are in. The hero punches the bat monster and turns into ZO. A fight scene happens. The spider traps the two civilians in spiderweb, and then ZO fights the spider monster.

So Harryhausen!!!

ZO breaks of one of the monsters arms and kills it. The Bat monster takes the kid and ZO chases after it. We find out how ZO came to be and about the Neo Lifeform. The kid is about to break his watch that plays music, when the hero stops him. We then get a meditative montage with a relaxing song. Hiroshi sees his dad and... OH GOD, IT'S KOU ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! But this time he get's Captured by the Bat Monster. The hero tries to get the kid but Doras Knocks him off Unconscious.

The grasshopper comes to the Hero's aid, He gets on his motorcycle and henshins. He ends up in a factory where he finds Hiroshi, but it turns out to be the Bat monster. ZO punches a hole into him when they find the Kid's Dad. He reveals the true form of the Neo Lifeform.

He goes on how he should get more love, Then turns into Doras. Him and ZO fight. Causing a lot of Destruction. The fight is Downright epic. The monster tries to absorb the hero, but fails when the kid tries to destroy the pool of fluid. The hero henshins again, but ends up being absorbed. Turning Doras into a red version of himself.

He releases his dad from the trap he's in, and when, he tries to kill Hiroshi, but when he hears the song from the watch, he stops himself. The pool of fluid is destroyed, the father dies, and the Factory blows up taking the watch with it. The kid and ZO escapes. The Hiroshi and the hero say their goodbyes, and ZO rides off with the credits ending the movie.

That was A good toku story, Minus the Parts with the kid, but at least they play a part unlike The Ultraman Mebius movie where the Kid's just there to whine.


Masaru Aso is our main hero, the problem with this character is that he takes a backseat to the kid and he's only given 40 minutes to tell who he is, how he's changed. Though he is still a badass by not having weapons or even a rider belt, just attacks. Though I do like the design of the ZO costume (seriously Where's my ZO Figuart).

Hiroshi Mochizuki is an annoying kid, when will people realize we don't watch Tokusatsu for little kids, we watch it for the action, and maybe the story. He kills the story for me.

Doctor Mochizuki is the one who created ZO and the Neo Lifeform, and he get's captured, that's the extent of his character, unfortunately.

The Neo Lifeform/Doras Is reminiscent of Kamen Ride Big Bads from the Showa era. The monsters look great, but we'll get to that when we get to the presentation. Like most of the Characters we don't find out much about them.


The Effects are SPECTACULAR, The fight with the spider monster looks like a Ray Harryhausen movie. The monsters look like they should be action figures. They're that good. They're scary looking, incredibly detailed, and I like these designs so much. The music is as Apollo Z. Hack put it, very Comic Book like. Some of the best for a a super hero movie, but the epic soundtrack and effects make this too big for a TV show, and the Underdeveloped characters makes it to short for a movie.


The movie has good story, good technicals, but weak characters. But this is a good popcorn movie. Get some microwave popcorn, go to TV Nihon's site (Google it, I don't want to get sued), and enjoy. I give this 3.25 Neo Lifeform Fluid pools out of 4.

Now back to the story.

AY: Well, This is where SimCity Fiancial used to be.

*enters the ice tower*

Lady: Welcome to Freezio Company World Headquarters, Can I help you?

AY: This is Anonymous Yoshi, And I'd like to investigate.

Lady: Sorry, We stopped serving nerds 2 hours ago, any violators WILL BE CAPTURED!!!!!

AY & Kazooie: OH MY GOD!!! *Trapped in a net*


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