So I might as well try something new as far as titles go, A more catch tittle is here. On to the intro, Who doesn't like ninjas, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Koga from Pokemon, The Mighty Morphin' Rangers were ninjas at one point, Little did they know that the alien rangers came from a better sentai known as KAKURANGER, NINJA, NINJA!!!!! That being said, is their movie any good? Well, time for another mini review!!!! Mountain Dew Hat, GO!!!!
SO THE MOVIE BEGINS WITH WAVES AND ROCKS!!!! PLUS THE TOEI LOGO!!!! THE KAKURANGERS FIRE SHURIKENS AT A ROCK AND POP OUT IN A WAY THAT LOOKS LIKE A FIGHT SCENE FROM DRAGON BALL Z!!!!! THEY TELL US WE SHOULD ROOT FOR THEM, AND THE OPENING ROLLS!!!!!!! SO THE ACTUAL MOVIE BEGINS WITH THE KAKURANGERS RELAXING AT THE BAY, AND WE CUT TO TWO KIDS WE'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN!!!!!! THEY'RE DOING THEIR NORMAL DUTIES AND IT'S TIME TO INTRODUCE OUR YOKAI FOR THE MOVIE!!!!! GARBAGE IS FLYING AT THEM AND 2 HIPPIES APPEAR, ONE OF THEM BALD EXCEPT FOR A PONYTAIL!!!!! GUESS WHAT, LIKE DUKE TRUMP, THEY ALSO APPEAR TO CREEP ON KIDS!!!!! THEY START MESSING WITH STUFF IN THE HOUSE, AND A JAMAICAN CYCLOPS APPEARS (I KNOW A BIT RACIST, BUT I HAD TO)!!!!! THEY TELL THE KIDS TO THROW OUT SOME ANCIENT DOLL!!!! THE TWO CYCLOPS RUN AND THE KAKURANGERS START TO FIGHT THEM!!!!! THESE TWO CYCLOPS TURN OUT TO BE THE HITOTSUME-KOZOU BROTHERS, WHICH I'M GOING TO CALL THING ONE AND THING TWO FOR THE REST OF THE REVIEW!!!!! THINGS 1 & TWO ATTACK THE KAKURANGERS HENSHIN!!!! THEY FIGHT AND THE KAKURANGERS USE THEIR WEAPONS!!!!! THE KIDS EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED AND THAT DOLL PROTECTS THEM FROM EVIL FORCES!!!!!! AT THE YOKAI PLACE OF OPERATIONS AND ELEPHANT MONSTER WITH A TUBA TURNS THINGS 1 & 2 BACK TO THEIR HUMAN FORMS, AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE ONYUDO, WHO I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE A SPECIAL NAME BECAUSE IT'S EASY TO TYPE!!!!!!! HE'S BEEN TAKING CONTROL OF BUILDINGS ALL OVER TOKYO AND MAKING A TOY CITY OUT OF IT!!!!! THE NARRATOR INTRODUCES THAT PARTICULAR YOKAI!!!! ONYUDO AND HIS TWO CRONIES STEAL TOKYO TOWER AND PUT IT IN THE CITY!!!!! THEY ALSO STEAL CARS AND VEHICLES ALL OVER JAPAN!!!!!!! THE TWO THINGS TURN BACK TO YOKAI AND START CAUSING HAVOC ALL OVER THE KID'S HOUSE!!!!! THEY KIDNAP THE BOY AND WON'T GIVE HIM BACK UNTIL THE GIRL THROW OUT THE DOLL!!!!! ONYUDO STEALS THE KID'S HOUSE AND THE KAKURANGERS GET INTO THEIR LIVING BUSS KNOWN AS NEKOMARU!!!! TSURUHIME AND THE GIRL GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND ALMOST GET RAN OVER BY A TRAIN!!!!! NEKOMARU FLIES TO THE YOKAI BASE , GO INTO NINJA FORM, AND LAND IN A QUARRY!!!!!! THE KAKURANGERS SNEAK INTO THE BASE IN METAL GEAR SPIDERMAN STYLE!!!!!!! THEY BEAT UP SOME YOKAI PLAYING CARDS AND GET SUCKED INTO THE YOKAI'S TRAP!!!!!!! THE HEROES GET PUT INTO A CAGE WITH A FIRE AROUND IT!!!!!!! SASUKE TURNS INTO A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND PUTS OUT THE FLAME!!!!!! THE OTHER MALE KAKURANGERS TURN INTO A DRILL, A SAW, AND A ROCK CRUSHER!!!!!!! SASUKE STICKS A PLUG UP HIS NOSE TO POWER THE ROCK CRUSHER, AND I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT!!!!!! IT'S NOT ENOUGH, SO THEY RUN AROUND THE CAGE AND FREE THE KIDS & TSURUHIME!!!!!!!! THE GEROES ESCAPE AND TRAP THE VILLAINS IN THE ROOM!!!!!!! BUT IT ONLY WORKS FOR A BRIEF SECOND!!!!! THE KAKURANGERS HENSHIN AND DO THE STANDARD ROLL CALL!!!!!!! THE KAKURANGERS DO SOME MORE SPIDERMAN SWINGING ACTION!!!!! NINJA BLUE RUNS ON WATER, THE FOOT SOLDIERS FOLLOW, BUT THEY SING AND THE POP UP TEXT "OH NO!" APPEARS!!!!!! DID I MENTION THE KAKURANGER THEME PLAYS!!!!! NINJA YELLOW ESCAPES FROM SOME FOOT SOLDIERS, BECOMES GIANT, AND DESTROYS THOSE GOONS!!!!!! NINJA BLACK BEATS SOME BLUE MEN ON BIKES ON HIS BIKE!!!!! NINJA WHITE SEEMS TO GET SHOT BY MOOKS IN ARMY OUTFITS, BUT THAT'S JUST ANOTHER BLUE MAN!!!!!! SHE SENDS DOWN SOME FLOWER PEDALS, AND NINJA RED FIGHTS SOME MORE GHOUL FACED BLUE MEN!!!!! SOME SHOTS LOOK LIKE A FIGHT SCENE FROM DBZ!!!!!!! NINJA RED BEATS UP THE YOUNGER THING, MAKES COPIES OF HIMSELF, BUT HE GET'S OWNED BY ONYUMA!!!!! HE AND HIS TWO CRONIES ENTER HIS DIMENSION, AND BEAT UP THE KAKURANGERS, BUT THAT'S NO ENOUGH FOR A TEAM ATTACK!!!!!! THE KAKURANGERS SEND IN THEIR SHARK MACHINES AND DESTROY THE OLDER THING!!!!!! THE TWO REMAINING YOKAI GROW GIANT AND THE KAKURANGERS SUMMON THEIR GIANT MECHS (KYODAI JUUSHOU), MERGE WITH THEM, USE THEIR WEAPONS, AND GET USED AS BOWLING PINS, THOUGH IT'S MORE LIKE SOCCER!!!!!!! RED SIMIADAR USES HIS SIMIADAR SLICER AND DESTROYS THE OTHER THING!!!!! THE JUUSHO FIGHTERS COMBINE AND FORM THE MIGHTY SHOGUN, AND IT'S MORE DETAILED THAN THE POWER RANGERS SHOGUN MEGAZORD COMBINATION!!!!!! ONYUMA TRIES TOKE MAKE THE MECH TINY, BUT MAKES HIMSELF TINY INSTEAD!!!!!!! THE KAKURANGERS USE THEIR BLAZING SHOGUN SWORD AND SEND THE MONSTER STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!!! EVERYTHING GOES BACK TO NORMAL, WE GET ONE BIT WITH THE KIDS AND THEIR MOM, THE KAKURANGERS SAY GOODBYE ENDING THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!
WOW!!!!! That was a pretty good movie, Kind of cute, but it's kind of messed up, then again that's Super Sentai for you, I give this 3 Shrunken Tokyo Towers out of 4.
See you next time.
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