Thursday, March 22, 2012

DeadTube: Facepalm Yourself

Did you see the new banner on my blog. Yep that's my logo. Anyway here's where the story begins:








OK, first order of business, Back in 2010, a little YouTuber known as Jenna Mourey (AKA JennaMarbles) posted a video known as "How to trick people into thinking your good looking" and it went viral in a matter of days. It became a hit amongst 20 something women. Forgetting the heavy amount of jump cuts and the fact "Never Gonna Give You Up" was playing in the background, I can actually see why people like her. She has more than just attractiveness (More on that blurb later), she has that type of humor Ray William Johnson or Shane Dawson doesn't have. Unlike those channels, I don't really care for her in a good or bad way, But the biggest problem with her is that she some times Shows her Cleavage, her Midriff, her Butt, Whatever. I wouldn't have a problem with if it wasn't her main selling point, Which it isn't, so that's good. Here's the SCARY part;




SHE'S GOING TO SURPASS RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON AS MOST SUBSCRIBED YOUTUBER!!!!! :O


The reason that's so scary is not because she's worse than Ray William Johnson, because she isn't. For a user to have that much growth during this past year alone, is quite an accomplishment for a user that isn't Fred (in his early days), or RWJ. When she makes it to that point, I'm Goin' To Be There, I'm Makin' a Video or a Blog, and I won't feel any pity for Ray William 'Sellout' Johnson. Which Brings me to my Second Order of Business;




WHY IS YOUTUBE'S TOP 100 SO DERNED RIGGED!?


Like it or not, If you're not a YouTube Partner, You have no chance of makin' it big on YouTube, let alone in the top 100. Ray William Johnson had enough subs a long time ago, but he begs for more to this very day, and for what? Stealing videos of People Getting Hurt, People Yelling at the Camera, or people sticking a remote control up their @$$, then making unfunny jokes with them. He done so little and NOW HE'S A MILLIONAIRE!!!!! Shane Dawson is just as bad, NO WAIT, WORSE!!!!!!!!! He uses false thumbnails, misleading titles, and catchy buzzwords in the titles. You would think his videos are better, but...







His videos are terrible. He starts with an unfunny skit, the vlog portion with random jokes, another unfunny skit, more random vlogging randomness, more skits in cast you forgot to laugh the first two times, and finally the ending vlogging portion, where he wants people to comment at the end and he doesn't give back for any of those comments D:<. ALL HE WAS, IS, AND ALWAYS WILL BE IS TEENAGE GIRL EYE CANDY WITH NO TALENT!!!!! 


iJustine is worthless. She's more worthless than other beauty over talent YouTubers, like MissHannahMinx or MeganSpeaks. All she has is just good looks, and nothing else. She knows nothing about Video Games, She Sings Crappy Spoof songs, makes pointless videos (shopping at Ikea being the least of which), proly can't take criticism, enables ads when least necessary, has 6 PARTNER ACOUNTS, and is an APPLE FANGIRL!!!!


SHAYTARDS IS JUST A SWEATY, DIRTY-ROTTEN, OVERWEIGHT PRO WRESTLER!!!! ALL OF HIS VIDEOS ARE IN ALL CAPS, AND ARE REAL LONG HOME MOVIES STARRING HIM AND HIS MISTREATED KIDS!!!! AND IN HIS MAIN CHANNEL SHAYCARL, IS FILLED WITH YOUTUBE MONEYGRUBBER WRITTEN ALL OVER IT, WITH FALSE THUMBNAILS, CONSTANT BEGGING FOR SUBS, AND OVERALL CRAPPY VIDEOS!!!!!!


Philip Defranco (AKA sxephil) is a man Who can't edit to save his life, begs for him to get more likes than any other video of the day, and uses half naked ladies in his thumbnails (and they're not even in the entire video). Nuff said.


Onision is a borderline troll, and all of his jerkiness can be seen in one video, I'M A BANANA! Need I say more.


Why can't we see more channels like Freddiew, EpicMealTime, and FPSRussia. Hell, where's are equivalents  to the Early YT Gods like Smosh, KevJumba, Micheal Buckley, NigaHiga, JamesNintendoNerd, and JPizzle1122.


Third order of business;




THOSE DERNED REPLY GIRLS!!!!!!


Yeah..... Those chicks spam their videos every time there's an interesting video to them. They wear outfits showing their large amounts of their cleavage (I'd personally love to see one of them in a video where they're in lingerie or a bikini just to see how many views it would get), and end up.... yeahhhh, i'm goin' to keep this blog    PG-13 and not mention the word here. Their just a bunch of view-grubbers, who make money just because their attractive, and spamming their videos.

Now on to our final order of business:


STOP VIEWBOTTING YOUR VIDEOS!!!


This was fixed as of recently (thx to the TheWillOfDC for telling me this), but it is still pretty common. WHY ARE YOU ALL VIEWBOTTING YOUR VIDEOS!!!! Is it just for the number, because it ain't gettin' you nowhere. You are all scums and need to burn in H-E-Double Hockey Sticks.You guys are goin' to get flamed and suspended off of YouTube.

Let's face it YouTube is dead. Is there a way to fix this, yes, but They won't listen. I'm proly moving to ZippCast.

Next time, something less tough on certain individuals.

No comments:

Post a Comment