Saturday, March 3, 2012

Transformers movies, Less than meets the eye

Transformers, one of the few boys brand that survived past it's prime. It never reached the same amount of obsessive popularity that Power Rangers or Pokemon did, but very few toy franchises lasted since the 80s and still to this day is consistently popular among the 6-14 year old market. Not even the Ninja Turtles were like that (thank you Next Mutation *sarcasm*). Some say the franchise jumped the shark during Beast Wars just because they turned into animals. To that I say...

Aight back on subject, BEAST WARS KICKED THE OLD SERIES OUT OF THE WATER, FANS!!!!!!! It was more mature, darker, deeper, better looking, and it was a better overall series. Too bad that was the last truly great official Transformers anything. Once we heard about the live action TF movie. We were excited, we've never seen Transformers on the big screen for over 20 years. This had to be awesome. We couldn't wait to see it, and the final product was....


Kinda disappointing. Yep. I went there.

Y'see the first movie wasn't terribly bad (it was as close to a live action Transformers movie as we wanted that actually happened), but this was all eyecandy, and Megan X Shia love story related crap. But I have to give credit where credit is due, at least the action was better than the rest of the movies. Another main problem that lasted all the movies was The robots looked like the original g1 toys smashed with a hammer and put back together using glue, bubble gum, and scotch tape.

Hey as terribly disappointing as the first one was, the second one is much WORSE!!!!! Everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong. To much to list here, to find out more, Watch QuacksilverFilms' 200 Reasons Why Transformers 2 Sucks, when you get the chance.

Transformers 3 is slightly better, but only because it's so derned BORING!!!!! Granted, the first two were boring in their own right, but this takes it to new heights. The human scenes are 10 times SSSLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR, The action is slow paced, and the story is lamer than before.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY'RE MAKING ANOTHER ONE!!!!!! And they said it would be a reboot, feature less human characters, and more robot action. Guess who's directing it?

Michael Bay.

Michael Bay.


ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME!!!!!

He's trying to LIE to you, he ain't goin' to make more robot action, he ain't makin' a Beast Wars movie (kind of a shame because I kinda wanted to see one), Hell, he wants to make another sellout actor into a character no respected person would care for. All he wants to do is make a childhood ruining movie (probably not in those exact words) just to squeeze a few more dollars of of nostalgic fans, and to give the average movie goer their weekly weekend popcorn and Coca-Cola treatment.

So yeah.... New Transformers movie, proly goin' to suck, and not a single regular person seems to care. Yep, We're doomed.

Next week....

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