Saturday, February 11, 2012

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace review

Warning: the following review may contain spoilers.

A short time ago in a theater not to far away....


So what did i think of it? Find out today.


The more interesting tl;dr (The more interesting points) plot can be found on "Weird Al" Yankovic's song "The Saga Begins". Here have your self a watch:

Other than that, most of the story is all political debate this, and trade federation that.What happened to the more likable and enjoyable story of the Star Wars Trilogy. This was trying too hard to tie up lose ends that didn't need to be tied up. George Lucas should've either tweaked the formula a bit or changed the formula to appeal to more audiences. Some might be complaining that I didn't cover more of the plot for you guys, but I pretty much summed up the whole plot for you.


Yeah the characters aren't much better. Young Obi-Wan is what you would get if you take most of everything that made Luke Skywalker interesting and burned it to a crisp. Obi-Wan is more 2-Dimensional and monotone than he was in the original Star Wars movie. Qui-Gon is not only as Boring, Monotone, and 2-Dimensional as Obi-Wan, but he's a one shot character, which makes him WORSE!!!!! Anakin is ANNOYING!!!!! I know, he's going to be Vader later, but you can write a child character better than that. Jar Jar Binks was TERRIBLE!!!!!!! 99.9% of his jokes aren't funny, he's a racist stereotype, and he looks AWFUL (more on that blurb later, once we get to the presentation)!!!!!! To be fair there are some characters I liked, Darth Maul looked like a terrifying villain, he actually killed one of the characters. He would've be a great character, if they didn't kill him off so quickly. Most of the characters I didn't mention I didn't care for.


The presentation is pretty ******* bad. Every shot had to have some kind of CG effect. Most of the effects were looked unfinished, especially on Jar Jar. Most of the effects looked like they belonged in a Video Game, I mean PS1 or Dreamcast game. The action was the best part of the movie, The Pod Race, The Fight in Space, and The Darth Maul Battle were all pretty derned good. Sadly the CG is what kills it. Also the the 3D isn't that good, but the film wasn't shot in 3D, so it get's a pass.


Overall, Phantom Menace is a pretty mediocre movie and lame compared to the originals. Sure the action is fast paced, but the overuse of second rate CG, 2-Dimensional characters, and less than compelling story is what kills the overall movie, I give this movie two Star Wars branded Brisk bottles out of four.

Next year we look at the Attack of the Clones.

But next week (hopefully)....

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